By Zeus!

“Open your mouth and shut your eyes and see what Zeus will send you.” – Aristophanes

Another weekend of thunderstorms is rolling in over the Eastern seaboard right now and the air is suddenly the ominous khaki green color of impending lightning. As a native West Coaster, I haven’t yet gotten over the thrill of a truly frightening New England summer storm. I love lightning with the feral passion that only a person who has never been struck by lightning can possess.

"But that's another story, nevermind, anyway..."

When I think of lightning strikes, it conjures images of electrocution and woodland blazes and animals with their fur standing comically on end. I hadn’t really thought of it so much as a life giving force before. But scientists think it may have played a crucial role in helping life spring forth from our planet. Let’s see if I can make any sense of this.

So, lightning strikes the ground, smelts some minerals and transforms phosphorous to phosphite because the smelting uses up some of the element’s oxygen, see? Prehistoric microbes gobbled up the phosphite and used it to form important molecules like DNA and RNA and evolution ensued. These days we humans produce most of the phosphite out in the world what with our nohwere-near-as-cool-as-lightning over-consumption of fossil fuels, and microbes have moved on to graze in bigger pastures anyhow.

If I wanted to be really reductive about it (and I do) I could say that lightning provided the nourishment that we all needed to come into existence on Earth. So maybe there’s something to the mythology of Zeus after all… I like it.

Earliest known image of barbecued chicken

Phosphorous is still important for humans to ingest, though most of us have advanced beyond the microbial stage. It is a key factor in the formation of our teeth and bones and it’s a major ingredient in our DNA and RNA. So hunker down indoors, gaze out on the lightning and think about Zeus and microbes and staticky squirrels if it’s storming where you are too. And why not eat something phosphorous-rich for old times’ sake; that’s what I’ll be doing.

Double-acting baking powder is the food with the most phosphorous in it by far, so if you’re cooped up and willing to cook, try out my remarkably easy variation on  Irish Soda Bread:

Soda-licious

• 4 c. flour (bread flour, if you’ve got it)
• 1 tbsp. double-acting baking powder (Kabam!)
• 3/4 tsp. baking soda
• 1 tsp. salt
• 1 c. raisins rinsed in hot water and patted dry
• 1 tsp. cinnamon (+ a couple extra pinches)
• 2 c. buttermilk (use the rest of the carton to make biscuits or pancakes later in the week, you’ll be glad you did)
• 4 tbsp. melted butter

Preheat your oven to 350.

In a large bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Stir in the raisins and cinnamon. Pour the buttermilk in, stirring until the mixture turns into a sticky dough. Dump the dough on a floured surface, roll up your sleeves and knead the dough like a dough-kneading machine for about 1 minute.

Pull the dough ball in half and form each half into a round loaf. Put the loaves on a greased baking sheet, and make a big X with sharp knife on the top of both (or a Z, like Zorro, or a J for Jessica, whatever). Brush your melted butter over the top, sprinkle with cinnamon, pop the whole mess into the middle of your oven and set a timer for 45 minutes. Stick a tester in the middle of each loaf when the buzzer goes off and if it doesn’t come out clean yet, you can safely bake them for up to 10 minutes more.

Put the baked loaves on a rack and let them cool. When you’re ready to slice in, I recommend making simple buttery toast or French toast with the results. Strike a god-like pose, allow yourself to be framed by a large window, wait to be backlit by a thunderous bolt of lightning, take a bite.

And have a great weekend!